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How to Overcome the Fear of Having Sex

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Fear and sex are synonyms for you? Can't feel sexually confident? Suffer from sex anxiety? Terrified at the thought of having sex for the first time? Sure that sex is something other people enjoy but not you?

You're not alone! Read on to learn how to boost your confidence and overcome all those jitters in your head.

 

The fear of having sex is a much more common phobia than you could imagine. Moreover, it can be easily overcome if one knows the origins of this problem and sees all the possible solutions.

Surprisingly, the fear of intimate relations is familiar not only to young people. Even adult mature personalities often experience psychological problems with sex.

So, why does it happen that such a pleasant thing for one people can be so scary and breeds negative emotions in others? How to overcome the sex fear and become happy in an intimate life?

Instead of punishing yourself, feeling guilty and ashamed, try to acknowledge and validate this fear. You can work through it “ just do this for yourself, not for anybody else.

The Most Popular Fears of Having Sex

 

  • My Body Doesn't Look Good

 

Low self-esteem and feeling not attractive enough often lead to the fear of having sex majorly among women, but also common for men. I'm fat, I'm skinny, I've got chicken legs and muffin tops, my breasts are too small, and so on¦

What to do? Even if there really are some appearance issues, it is not a reason to deny yourself the sexual satisfaction. The first thing to do is to raise your self-esteem: believe it or not, but nobody's perfect. An attentive and sensitive partner, who doesn't care about the appearance, can help overcome all the fears.

If your partner had chosen you, you ARE sexually attractive!

 

  • I'm Bad at Sex

 

This thought comes to minds of both sexes “ absolutely unnecessarily. Firstly, there are the basics, which always work great, and you can stick to them if you feel comfortable about it. Secondly, try concentrating on what you enjoy, and be sensitive to your partner’s desires “ and just act naturally according to your wishes. If your partner suggests something you’re not comfortable with, just say that you're not ready for that now, but maybe you can try it later.

 

  • What If I Can't Orgasm?

 

Failure to orgasm is one of the most popular sex fears, however, there's nothing to worry about so much. The best way to ease your fear is to explore yourself and find out what makes you feel best (oral pleasure, patting, sex toys, touching nipples, whatever). Just ask your partner to do it or do by yourself to get to that paradise state and, finally, climax.

 

  • I'm Afraid of Vaginal Pain

 

Sometimes the fear of having sex is physically reasoned. Vaginismus is a serious psychological and physical female problem, which cause very severe pain during the sexual act. Such kind of problem must be treated only by experienced gynecologists and psychologists.

 

  • I'm Afraid of Pregnancy and Getting (Giving) a Sexually Transmitted Disease

 

It's not irrational either for men or women to have a fear of possible pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease. But also, it's not a reason to completely refrain from sex. Having safe sex and using a condom are the first essentials that can help prevent any bad consequences.

If you're having some disease, it's not a death sentence for your sex life: just be very careful and honest with your partner.

How to Overcome Fear of Intercourse?

Here's the list of other helpful tips, which will definitely make a difference in your sex life and can eventually lead to getting rid of all fears and sex concerns:

  1. Don't belittle the importance of proper atmosphere (smells, sounds, lightning).
  2. Don't neglect the foreplay, patting, or even a nice massage with oils to get ready.
  3. Be careful with alcohol before the sexual intercourse.
  4. Be prepared mentally and physically for the first time sex: how to do it, where to do it, how to behave with your partner, and make sure that you both really want it.
  5. Think of sex as a fun activity that makes you closer on different levels, rather than some stressful routine act.
  6. Add playfulness and humor “ make the situation maximally relaxed. Roleplays “ why not?
  7. Use condoms with strangers to prevent an STD, use condoms with your permanent sex partner to prevent unwanted pregnancies.
  8. Sex is not a condition that you need to fulfill “ do it only when both partners are emotionally prepared.
  9. Talk to your partner: explain what you like and what you don't like, also bear the partner's preferences in mind.
  10. Educate yourself about reproductive systems of men and women to know how it all works, and how to improve the sex. Watch informative sex videos, surf the net, or read a book.

! If your fear of having sex comes from severe psychological traumas (violence, complexes, accompanying phobias), seek help from the qualified specialists “ psychiatrists, psychologists, sexologists.

 

Sex fears are more common than you might think. So, if you have some, it's not the reason to be anxious about them. But it is the reason to look for a resolution and do only what makes you feel good.

about it. Secondly, try concentrating on what you enjoy, and be sensitive to your partner’s desires “ and just act naturally according to your wishes. If your partner suggests something you’re not comfortable with, just say that you're not ready for that now, but maybe you can try it later.

  • What If I Can't Orgasm?

Failure to orgasm is one of the most popular sex fears, however, there's nothing to worry about so much. The best way to ease your fear is to explore yourself and find out what makes you feel best (oral pleasure, patting, sex toys, touching nipples, whatever). Just ask your partner to do it or do by yourself to get to that paradise state and, finally, climax.

  • I'm Afraid of Vaginal Pain

Sometimes the fear of having sex is physically reasoned. Vaginismus is a serious psychological and physical female problem, which cause very severe pain during the sexual act. Such kind of problem must be treated only by experienced gynecologists and psychologists.

  • I'm Afraid of Pregnancy and Getting (Giving) a Sexually Transmitted Disease

It's not irrational either for men or women to have a fear of possible pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease. But also, it's not a reason to completely refrain from sex. Having safe sex and using a condom are the first essentials that can help prevent any bad consequences.

If you're having some disease, it's not a death sentence for your sex life: just be very careful and honest with your partner.

How to Overcome Fear of Intercourse?

Here's the list of other helpful tips, which will definitely make a difference in your sex life and can eventually lead to getting rid of all fears and sex concerns:

  1. Don't belittle the importance of proper atmosphere (smells, sounds, lightning).
  2. Don't neglect the foreplay, patting, or even a nice massage with oils to get ready.
  3. Be careful with alcohol before the sexual intercourse.
  4. Be prepared mentally and physically for the first time sex: how to do it, where to do it, how to behave with your partner, and make sure that you both really want it.
  5. Think of sex as a fun activity that makes you closer on different levels, rather than some stressful routine act.
  6. Add playfulness and humor “ make the situation maximally relaxed. Roleplays “ why not?
  7. Use condoms with strangers to prevent an STD, use condoms with your permanent sex partner to prevent unwanted pregnancies.
  8. Sex is not a condition that you need to fulfill “ do it only when both partners are emotionally prepared.
  9. Talk to your partner: explain what you like and what you don't like, also bear the partner's preferences in mind.
  10. Educate yourself about reproductive systems of men and women to know how it all works, and how to improve the sex. Watch informative sex videos, surf the net, or read a book.

!      If your fear of having sex comes from severe psychological traumas (violence, complexes, accompanying phobias), seek help from the qualified specialists “ psychiatrists, psychologists, sexologists.

 

Sex fears are more common than you might think. So, if you have some, it's not the reason to be anxious about them. But it is the reason to look for a resolution and do only what makes you feel good.

 

Written by Helen Rogers https://sweetytextmessages.com/